My eyes cant believe what they have seen (Ryan)

[Ryan Robins]

Ryan closed his eyes, listening to him with trembling fingers that moved through Grants hair, trying to find something, maybe hold onto something that he couldn't quite grasp yet. The words were beautiful, the whisper about him being goodlooking went straight to his heart and he felt like he was about to cry. Which really, wasn't something Ryan Robins usually did.

Then Grant commented on his non-eating and he paused, wondering if he should say something, anything at all about it. Eventually he nodded, looking down at the man he loved and biting his lip again. "You're right. I don't. Just...enough to survive the day without fainting." And even that didn't always work. Usually he survived on an apple a day, which is why he was always so cold.

[Grant Carson]

Grant just watched him, let him do what he would do, let him decide if he'd heard him or not. Because if Ryan didn't want to talk about it then Grant wouldn't push him to do so. He slid his tongue out, making Ryan stop biting on his lip before he nipped it himself and pulled his face closer, an inch away now. Not much farther at all. "It's alright. I knew anyway."

He slid his hand to the small of the mans back, pressing him close against his chest. "I'll try to get you to eat more, but you'll resist me anyway." He sent him a little smile and kissed the side of his neck softly. "Just for my sake, eat a tiny bit more, or well.. faint when I'm around to actually take care of you?" You could tell that he meant it, meant that he wanted to be there to take care of him through it all.
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[Ryan Robins]

Ryan snorted a bit. "I'll try to remember it. Though, honestly...You won't be able to force me. Because I need control over something in my life." It sounded very soft, and he hid his face in Grants neck, arms wrapped around him. The movie was playing around them, people watching the screen eagerly, but he didn't care about anything. He just wanted to stay here, with Grant, forever. Or as long as he could anyway.

[Grant Carson]

They'd come here to see a horror movie and weren't even watching it. But that was okay. It didn't matter too much to him. Grant just nuzzled at Ryan's neck and smiled softly. "I know. Trust me when I say I understand." He ran his thumb along his cheek and just looked at him. "I won't make you eat or anything." He took a look around and chuckled at one of the girls. She'd jumped when something scary floated onto the screen.

[Ryan Robins]

Ryan looked down at him and smiled a bit, giving him a gentle kiss. "I'm scared though...what if something goes wrong? I'm always cold, and I'm not even sure this really means that I'm in control. What if I'm not? What if I'm just crazy and everything around me is going to hell and I can't even control anything. Not a single thing?" He really was scared. And he was worried that he would lose even more than he had lately.

[Grant Carson]

Grant sighed softly. "Anything can happen. We'll just have to try and make sure that its nothing bad that happens. It can be done, right." He kissed back, melting close to the smaller man. "You partly control your eating habits, it can get away from you though. If you let it." Softly he shushed him and nibbled along his lower lip. "Don't be scared, I am here you know." He understood almost all of it too. "Don't worry you can control things. Your happiness for instance."

[Ryan Robins]

"I'm happy when I'm with you. I know that now...and I'm not going to stop it...I tried. I couldn't. I wanted to be straight so bad but I can't." He rubbed at his forehead before leaning against Grant a little more, kissing him softly. The shush was kinda cute, then again, all of Grant was pretty much cute. "I want to be with you. I want to try, and be me again. Without the...fcuked up ness. I was normal once. Or as close as I could get."

[Grant Carson]

His eyes softened at hearing Ryan, his heart sped up and he kissed back, tenderly, lovingly. “You’ll get there. I know you will. And I’ll be with you every step of the way if you want me.” He chuckled softly, hand sliding to Ryan’s side and rubbing absently. “No ones really normal. They’re just who they are.” Grant bit his lip shyly and tilted his head, looking into Ryan’s eyes. He took a deep breath before letting it out slowly. “I love you..”

[Ryan Robins]

"I want you to. I want you to be with me and-" He fell silent when Grant said those three words, staring at him in wonder. He loved him? He -loved- him? How...when...why...what? "W-what?" Sure, he'd said it before, but never like this. Not like he really meant it, not like there was anything more between them than friendship. He knew Grant loved him as a friend, but as something more? Was that what his I love you meant?

[Grant Carson]

Grant just smiled even more when Ryan fell silent, staring at him. Yeah he loved him. More than anything. “I said. I love you Ryan.” Said the same as before, soft, shy, and with a smile that matched it. He really was in love with him, his best friend, the only person he'd ever truly wanted. He brushed his lips against the others softly and bit his lip shyly.

[Ryan Robins]

Part of him was absolutely stunned. Not horrified, because it was something he'd been wanting to hear from, well, basically anyone. Just...stunned that it was Grant saying those things, to him. "I..." He loved him too, that wasn't the problem, it was more that his mouth didn't work properly, that his lips felt dry and chapped and that he wasn't even sure he had air left in his lungs to form the words.

[Grant Carson]

Grant laughed shyly and just pressed a little kiss to his lips. "You don't need to say anything back. I just wanted you to know that I do, you know." He ran his fingers through the mans hair, keeping him close enough, yet back just enough so that he could look up into his eyes. "Know that I really mean it though." He looked away and mumbled softly. "I've.. always.."

[Ryan Robins]

"No, it's just...I want to..I just needed some air first. I think you knocked it out of me by saying that" Ryan brushed his fingers down Grants cheek, smiling at him and giving him a tender kiss. "We're odd, aren't we? Going from friends to boyfriends and I-love-you's in one afternoon? It's not even mid break at the movies yet." He grimaced a little, realizing he still hadn't said it back. "I love you too."