My eyes cant believe what they have seen (Ryan)

[Grant Carson]

Grant just watched him for a moment, leaning back in his chair and sipping at his soda. The girl's eyes lit up when he said he wasn't seeing anyone, and the girls down below could certainly hear him. He just continued to drink his soda. Not saying a thing. Her eyes widened when he gave the notebook back to her and she pouted a little, biting her lip again.

A chorus of aw's were echoed below then and a soft flutter of why do all the cute ones have to be gay going around. The girl leaned in and kissed his cheek. "Thanks.. anyway. I hope you find someone." She wandered back just in time because the soda he'd been drinking got spit out, all over the floor. Grant's eyes turned to Ryan, wide and confused as he looked at him. "She.. was cute..? Gay.. thought you were.. uhm.. straight..?" What? His heart fluttered irrationally and he looked at him.

[Ryan Robins]

Ryan bit his lip, looking at Grant. God help him, he wanted that man. He just couldn't...it wasn't fair that he had to...not with his friend being there and looking too cute and majorly confused and he just wanted to be in his lap and kiss him so he did. He straddled him and kissed him then, hard and passionate and demanding, and at the same time it was shy and almost as if it was his first kiss. Yeah, they had kissed before but never like this, never like there could actually be something between them.

[Grant Carson]

That god help him was echoed in his mind times a thousand. Especially when his lips were touched against Ryan's. His arms went around the mans neck, hand settling at the back of his neck as he made a sound against those lips. Grant found that his fingers slid into his friends hair and he pulled him an inch or two closer, kissing back with everything he had. He hadn't been expecting that one. So very long had he waited for this. Did it mean what he hoped it did.

All he knew was that when Ryan kissed him his head spun out of control, his heart beat quicker, and his eyes wide for a moment, turned the softest they'd ever been. He found himself responding a moment later, fingers pulling the man closer. Even as the girls below gasped and giggled shyly.

[Ryan Robins]

He slid closer, touching him completely and instead of soft and curvy it was hard and muscles that he felt and he couldn't enjoy it more. Oh yes, he was definitely gay, or at least with a huge preference for men and if his parents thought they could convince him to date a girl they were wrong because maybe now he finally realized that he was way more gay than he ever thought he would be, and that maybe he would never want to be with another girl again. Save for Angela, but she was just the mother of his child, not his girl.

Ryan threaded his fingers through Grants hair, kissing him until he ran out of breath, not caring about the girls or the movie or anything as he leaned his forehead against the others, lips red and swollen and his eyelids fluttering as he gasped for air.

[Grant Carson]

His Ryan was so small compared to him, but he wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him so much closer anyway, enjoying every little sense that came alive at having him so close. His eyes fluttered open when he felt the fingers in his hair, when he found that breathing normally wasn't going to be happening for a while at all. Hadn't be promised himself that he was going to be good.. where had that gone?

Out the window as soon as Ryan kissed him. Thats where. He tilted his head down and pressed a little kiss to his lips, looking at him with bright eyes. "You kissed me." His voice was soft, barely above a whisper, and his smile couldn't be softer or more surprised. Did this mean that he'd finally realized he was exactly who he needed to be?

[Ryan Robins]

"I did" Ryans smiled was mirroring the one on Grants face. He did. He had. Kissed him. He wasn't sure how or where he stood in the realizing that he was exactly who he needed to be' department, but kissing him had felt good. Good enough for him to want to do it again. So he leaned into him, pressing lips to his mouth again, softer this time.

[Grant Carson]

His breath audibly caught in his throat, even as he returned his kiss, hand slipping up to cup his face, head tilting to kiss him better. "I.. think.." He was hardly an inch from his lips, barely breathing, simply because the man took his breath away. "That.. I really.. like..that.." The girls awed all over again and he resisted the urge to laugh himself. This was impossible right?

Was he dreaming? Or was his Ryan, really kissing him like that? Grant's head spun all over again as this time he leaned in and initiated the kiss, keeping him close and smiling.

[Ryan Robins]

Ryan couldn't help but smile at those words, not even hearing the girls in the background. Everything around him was blurred, and he didn't hear anything but Grants words, his breath - or lack thereof - and he couldn't feel anything but the way that those soft lips claimed his again, making him lose what little breath he'd caught inbetween those gentle kisses. "Good" He whispered back, breaking their kiss only because he was out of breath again. "I like it too." What did this mean? Did Grant like him? As more than a friend?

[Grant Carson]

He'd always liked him as more than a friend. Always liked him more then he should. Which was why he understood why Jesse had been jealous. Because he could clearly see the way that he had been looking at his boyfriend, the way that he reacted to just having him around. It wasn't too hard to miss, unless you of course had been Ryan. Who he was the most careful around.

Grant sighed happily and just let his head rest against Ryan's. "Would it be.. overstepping anything If I.." He bit his lip shyly and looked up to meet Ryan's eyes with his own. "Said.. I.." He took a little breath. "Like you.." A lot.

[Ryan Robins]

"Only...if it would be overstepping things...if I said I liked you too" Ryan answered in the same tone of voice. Breathless and confused and shy and wondering and for the first time in forever, hoping. Because he knew that Grant made him happy. Hadn't today proven that? Hadn't the way his heart skipped when he woke up to those eyes betrayed the way he truly felt? Even if it was wrong, even if he wasn't supposed to feel this way...he did. He cared for him, and if that was wrong, if liking him was wrong then did he really want to be right?

[Grant Carson]

"Never. God never overstepping a thing." His arms went around his neck more, he kissed him again, soft, sweet, and shy. He couldn't let him be straight, no matter how much he'd promised himself that he wouldn't get in the way of Ryan's happiness. If he wanted him then he'd so gladly go, then he'd very happily be part of his life, a bigger part. Grant just kissed him, pulling his lips away an inch to smile softly at him.

[Ryan Robins]

Ryan grinned at him, turning around a little to look at the girls and winking when the one who had asked him for his phone number gave him a very approving thumbs up. "Guess it's not your lucky today, ladies. Because I'm pretty sure that right now I'm officially dating someone." Or he really wanted to be anyway. Grant would agree to dating, wouldn't he? Oh God. Dating. Dating Grant. Grant.

[Grant Carson]

The girls all giggled softly and winked at Ryan. Grant just leaned close and smiled fondly. "Yeah, he's spoken for now." Grant sent them all a wink and they just grinned back at them. The one who'd come up to Ryan smiled softly. "Our loss. Enjoy your new boyfriend." She sent Ryan another thumbs up and the girl beside her blew them a teasing kiss. He couldn't help but turn Ryan around and brush his lips against his. "Yes, you're dating someone."

[Ryan Robins]

Ryan smiled, giving him a soft kiss. "Not just someone. The only guy I've wanted to date for a while now. Even when I was in therapy, when I was trying to be straight...I kept dreaming about you. And they weren't just hold-hands-and-skip-through-a-field-of-daisies-dreams either." They'd been a lot more graphic than that.

There was just one problem now. Seeing as apparently his 'disease' couldn't be cured, that meant he would continue to have Borderline. And would have to keep taking his medication if he didn't want to be completely out of it. Unless Grant agreed to keeping an eye on him, on taking care of him, and he wasn't sure if he should ask that of him.

He played with one of Grants sleeves for a moment, still in his lap, his eyes more serious as he looked at him. "It's not going to be easy, you know. I'll still be...the way I am now. And I want to try without medication, but the last time I tried I ended up cutting myself." He hadn't told Grant that yet. Though his friend had probably seen when he saw him in bed this morning.

"I want to try." The relationship as well as the living without medication, but he would understand if it was too much too soon for his friend turned lover. Ryan didn't want to complicate things more than he had to. "I just...It's not going to be easy" There was so much more he had to say, about the anorexia, but he stopped himself after that last mumbled confession.

[Grant Carson]

His eyes widened a little bit at the part where he said he'd been dreaming about him. Grant chuckled softly and kissed him in return. “Drawing me naked didn't help keep the dreams away.” He teased lightly, eyes softening again. He'd drempt of Ryan for a long time now, just hardly ever admitted it to anyone but himself.

He knew he'd cut himself, it hadn't come as too much of a shock to him. So he just nodded his head and caught his face in his hands. “I didn't say I liked easy anyway. I've known you for a while now Ryan, I'd like to think that I'm one of the closest people to you. I'd also like to think you know, by now that I'm going to stick with you through anything. Try my best.”

Grant smiled and nodded again. “Then feel free to try. I'll be with you every step of the way.” His hands flew to his friends sides and he inched his shirt up a little and pressed a kiss to the top of his chest, murmuring against it. Something like 'beautiful.' “Ryan, I already know you don't eat either. If at all.”

In a slow move, one where his eyes stayed focused on Ryan's he slid his hand up his shirt, fingers playing along his skin. He sent him a teasing look and pulled him closer to kiss again. “Look at this though. Its not even scary yet and you're in my lap a lot sooner then I'd have thought.”