I Wont Stop Holding On [Tony]

[Reese Mackenzie]

“You wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t.” she would have kicked him out herself if she had wanted him to leave. Reese was always very clear in that and she usually said what was on her mind as well. Just not this, she wouldn’t make things all weird by telling Tony she was in love with him. Cause that is what it was. No simple crush. She couldn’t fool herself, at least not anymore.

Reese leaned her head back to let it rest on his shoulder. She made him nervous? “Right a girl like me making you nervous? How does that happen again?” that was something she found very hard to believe. Tony had been with tons of girls or guys, whatever. She had never seen him nervous before. He was just always… Tony.

[Tony Hoult]

"That's another secret, isn't it? You're trying to cheat on this game" His voice is light and pleasant as he runs a finger down her lower arm, his hand covering hers, on her waist. She's beautiful, and sweet, and he likes spending time with her, which is more than he can say for most girls. Not that he's being faithful, of course not. He still goes about his daily business, breaking hearts left and right.

"Why is it that you see a good guy in me?" Tony wonders aloud. Most people avoid him, though girls are drawn to him like moths to a candle, heat burning them up as he looks at them, giving them that little patented Tony Hoult smile that makes them feel special.

[Reese Mackenzie]

Reese’s eyes still stared out of the window, trying to find something in the dark. But there wasn’t anything there. There never was until the sun would rise in the morning once more. Then the world would come alive again and you were forced to be part of life again. Whether you wanted to or not. “Maybe I am, never said I liked playing by the rules.” This was really nice, be this close to him. Him holding her, sort of.

“Cause you are a good guy Tone. You just decide to not act like it but that doesn’t mean you can’t be a good guy.” She knew he was a good guy, he just liked being the bad boy more. And that is what girls liked about him. It was messed up but that cocky smirk of his and his attitude. Girls wanted a little bad ass every now and then. A good boy would get boring after a while.

[Tony Hoult]

"I hurt people because it's funny. That really isn't part of the good guys manual" Why was he even fighting her on this? It was scary that she liked him. Because he knew she did. If she saw a good guy in him, or just the potential to be a good guy, then that must mean she was falling for him, head over heels. "I will hurt you too. You know I will. Why do you still like me, despite of that?"

[Reese Mackenzie]

“You’re a jerk, we all know that. You can be a good guy. You just don’t want to be one. That’s the difference.” Reese tore her eyes away from the window and let them linger on his hand covering hers for a moment before she looked up at him for a mere second. She shrugged faintly, “You can’t decide who you like or not. You just do or you don’t.” which was true. She didn’t want to be in love with him but she was. “I guess I’m naïve like that.” But he had already hurt her by making her fall in love with him. He just didn’t saw it yet.

[Tony Hoult]

"I always could. In the past, I mean. When I didn't want to like someone, I didn't. I've never liked anyone. Not even Chelle, and we dated for over a year." Not to mention the many girls he'd shared a bed with. The only one he truly cared about was Effy, and Sid, to an extent. He made sure not to hurt either of them, but the rest of the world was fair game. "It's scary, liking someone, when you know it's not good for you."

[Reese Mackenzie]

Reese didn’t know much about Tony’s love life. Or sex life, well whatever kind of life he really had. They were party friends, friends who went to parties, had fun, drank too much. Nothing major in friendship land. “It’s not scary, it just hurts.” Cause your heart would already be broken before anything could happen. Or would happen. “Why don’t you want to be the good guy? Cause it’s boring?”

[Tony Hoult]

"I'm not able to be the good guy. It involves caring for people and apparently I've got an antisocial tendency." People could psychoanalyze him as much as they wanted to, that was the simple truth. No narcissicm (though he cared a lot about himself), no holier-than-thou complex, nothing fancy. He was just himself, and he'd never loved. His parents hadn't exactly set a good example either. And Effy was just Effy. The only person he could learn love from was Sid, and well, he was pathetic to a level where it was just embarrassing.

[Reese Mackenzie]

And that was the exact reason why Reese knew she couldn’t like Tony. She cared about people, she would make sure her friends and loved ones were happy first before she would allow herself to be happy. Tony just didn’t care about people except for himself and his sister. That much she knew. They were fire and water if you looked at it like that. Reese turned around and pressed a soft kiss on his cheek. “Guess I screwed myself over then.” She cared about him, she knew that he knew that she cared. Reese even cared about the ones she didn’t really know, like Juli. Cause Graham cared.

[Tony Hoult]

"Maybe, maybe not. Just that I've never cared about people doesn't mean that I can't. I already care more for you than I thought would be possible" It was only half a lie. He wasn't in love with her, but he cared. Somehow, Reese Mackenzie had wormed her way into what he thought was an impenetrable heart. He wasn't sure if he was upset or happy about that.

[Reese Mackenzie]

Reese smiled faintly at that, letting her forehead rest against his cheek for a brief moment. “It’s okay…” she softly said, her voice slightly thickened with a hint of heartache. “I don’t want you to be anyone other than yourself.” If that meant he didn’t care or just a little than so be it. “You know I will kick your ass anyway, if I have to.” She just didn’t want to. Letting her fingers caress his cheek for a moment Reese pulled back right after. Moving towards her side table she picked up her mug of tea and disappeared into the kitchen. Returning not much later after having spiked her tea with the strongest bottle of alcohol she could find.

[Tony Hoult]

Tony sat down on the bed again, slowly sipping his tea and looking out of the window with a look in his eyes that was difficult to figure out. He himself wasn't even sure what was going through his mind and he hated it. Philosophy was definitely his subject, but he didn't like to psychoanalyze himself. He'd never needed to. He fcuked, hurt people, dumped them and broke their heart only to move on to the next person, either after or while he was still 'seeing' someone. Then why was Reese different? She was just another willing body in his bed. A notch on his bedpost, a line in a song. She shouldn't be different.

But she was.

[Reese Mackenzie]

Reese watched Tony for a silent minute when she stood in the doorway. She was fairly good at reading people but reading Tony was hard. Like really hard. With her mug in her hands she headed over to the singe and sat down in his lap. With one bare leg on each side of his lap she sat with her front turned towards him. “Feel like sharing of what’s going on up there?” she asked softly, watching him over the edge of her mug while she sipped her strong tea.

[Tony Hoult]

Tony smiled a little, brushing his thumb over the curve of her jaw. "Just...that you're different. Than all the other girls. You're not easy like they are. And you shouldn't be. I mean...body like yours, a guy should work for it." He smelled the alcohol in her tea, but figured that she was mature enough to make her own decisions. Besides, the only one that she could strip for right now was him, and that actually didn't sound like a bad idea.

[Reese Mackenzie]

The problem was that no guy or girl wanted to work for it. She shrugged avoiding his eyes for a moment. God, she hated to be all emotional and what not right now. This was not like her at all. Reese was always the bouncy one, the one who cheered others up and was always happy herself. It was all a mask though and right now it was starting to come off. Something that was only suppose happen when she was home alone. “Would be nice if someone actually want to, to work for me.” She said softly, bringing her mug of tea back to her lips.

Reese didn’t mean to nag or to whine, she just wanted someone she could love and who loved her. Tony didn’t want to be that guy. That was just fine, sure it hurt but what else could she do? Force? Now that was pathetic.