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Post by Aidan Kinney on Apr 1, 2008 21:52:38 GMT 1
"oh" It was all Aidan could say. He felt wonderful sittin gin Christian's arms like this. He couldn't remember ever being held like that. But the words the other said stung in his heart. No. So if he ever tried anything with Christian...he'd be one of the many. So Adia was right. He couldn't keep the smile on his lips. That did make him sad
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Post by Christian Tait on Apr 1, 2008 22:04:47 GMT 1
Christian could sense that he had said the wrong thing by telling the truth. He let go of Aidan to give him the space that he knew he wanted, pushing himself to his feet to walk away. "I'll go..I can see that I disgust you..but at least I know and accept myself as is.." He mumbled under his breath.
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Post by Aidan Kinney on Apr 1, 2008 22:13:31 GMT 1
Aidan reached out and grabbed Christian's wrist before the other could leave. He used this to haul himself up onto his feet then pull the other man close wrapping arms around him tightly. "You don't disgust me. I have no reason to be disgusted" He said softly. "Just because i'm...you know...it doesn't mean I'm going to demand that from other people". No, he wasn't disgusted. Worse. he was jealous
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Post by Christian Tait on Apr 1, 2008 22:23:06 GMT 1
Christian shook his head no, keeping his hands at his sides as Aidan pulled him close. "But how do you know that I wouldn't?" He whispered softly into his ear. "I've already stolen your first kiss. What makes you think I would be able to stop at that? I'm no good for you Kinney"
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Post by Aidan Kinney on Apr 1, 2008 22:33:09 GMT 1
"What makes you think I want you to stop at that?" Aidan whispered. "As long as you do this to me" It was a very bold offer in Aidan's lips. And it betrayed a hint of jealousy he felt. "I'm big enough to decide who is good for me and who isn't." He continued in a soft whisper before pressing a small kiss to Christian's cheek
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Post by Christian Tait on Apr 1, 2008 22:40:35 GMT 1
"So you think I could really be good for you?" He questioned with an arch of the eyebrow, sliding two fingers down his arm slowly. That was very unlikely but he didn't dare say it nor the fact that he could sense the jealousy in his voice, words only ever screwed everything up for him. "Do what?"
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Post by Aidan Kinney on Apr 1, 2008 22:50:28 GMT 1
"Well..this" Aidan murmured blushing. "Whatever you meant by not stopping at that" He wasn't exactly how to say it not saying it at the same time. "I don't know if you could really be good for me...but we won't know if we don't see, right?" One elegant eyebrow arched. "We could guess but that would be just guessing"
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Post by Christian Tait on Apr 1, 2008 23:11:29 GMT 1
Christian coughed in surprise. Never in his life would he have guessed that he would hear that kind of suggestion roll off Aidan Kinney's tongue. He didn't know what to say to that other than "Are you honestly offering me your..your..that?" He asked in a somewhat high girlish voice. He had to make sure first before he went ahead and made a fool of himself.
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Post by Aidan Kinney on Apr 2, 2008 8:22:15 GMT 1
Yeah...I...I think" Aidan nodded blushing dark red now. "I don't really know what I am offering...I mean...I do but...technically I don't" He chuckled nervously. "If it makes any sense. What I mean is...I don't know what I mean" He sighed then hid face in Christian's shoulder. He couldn't actually precise what he wanted. He knew he wanted Christian but he wantes something exclusive. He didn't want to be one of the many and watch the next ones beside Chris. But he also realized he had no right to ask fro something like that and this thought was frustrating
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Post by Christian Tait on Apr 2, 2008 10:06:23 GMT 1
Christian frowned, wrinkling his forehead in confusion. What Aidan was saying didn't make one bit of sense to him. Either he wanted to or he didn't, it was that simple. He wouldn't force him to do anything, he wasn't that kind of person. These things always sort of happened to him. Taking Aidan's shoulders, he held the blushing boy out an arms length to examine his face. But that did nothing to help sort out his confusion. "In english..please.." He sighed. "What are you wanting?"
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Post by Aidan Kinney on Apr 2, 2008 10:21:18 GMT 1
Aidan took a step back as Christian chose to make some distance between them. He was chewing on his bottom lip for a while, not looking at Chris, suddenly finding his shoes very interesting. But Chris demanded his answer. "You." He finally mumbled, head still low. "But I'm scared...that you don't want me...that you will leave me...that you will hate me" He cringed saying all that
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Post by Christian Tait on Apr 2, 2008 10:35:18 GMT 1
Christian's eyes widened and he took a small step backwards, dropping his hands back down to his sides. It wasn't the answer he had expected at all. Who in their right mind would want Chris? He shook his head, refusing to believe him. "If I hated you Aidan..you would know it. I wouldn't be here right now" He looked away, self-consciously ruffling his hair once more. "But don't joke.."
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Post by Aidan Kinney on Apr 2, 2008 10:39:37 GMT 1
"I meant hating me later...afterwards...in the future....I don't know. I know you don't hate me now" Aidan said as he looked up. He wasn't joking. He was dead serious. Everything he said he meant it. Even if it probably wasn't too coherent. "I'm not joking." He said shaking his head. "I do mean it"
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Post by Christian Tait on Apr 2, 2008 10:49:38 GMT 1
Christian took another couple of steps back, hoping the distance would give him a chance to clear his head and think what he was saying over. It didn't help much at all. "I don't..I don't understand.." He whimpered, pinching the bridge of his nose. Oh yes, there was definitely going to be a headache coming on soon. He never had to use his brain this much before. "I don't..date..Aidan. I don't know how..people come to me for one reason only..It's the thing I know how to do. I could help you there..but I don't know how much more I could do..for you"
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Post by Aidan Kinney on Apr 2, 2008 11:07:34 GMT 1
Aidan forced a casual smile even though all he wanted to do now was to run away and cry. And never have to face Chris again. "I understand...it's ok. I'm sorry I...forget about everything I said" HE waved his hand. He made a fool of himself in front of the only guy who ever seemed to like him. HE didn't want Christian to do this for him. He wanted to be liked, cared for....loved eventually. But it was obvious Christian wasn't terested in a relationship so it was better to drop the subject.
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