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Post by Aidan Kinney on Apr 8, 2008 11:54:06 GMT 1
Aidan laughed but closed his eyes smiling contentedly. "Yes Daddy" He whispered but then his face concorted. He shouldn't have used this word. It brought back painful memories. "Sorry" Aidan whispered shivering. He wrapped his arps around Christian tightly this time seeking comfort only
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Post by Christian Tait on Apr 9, 2008 10:50:56 GMT 1
That was definitely a bad choice of words on both of their parts. It made Christian involuntary cringe in disgust. It wouldn't do too well to have the man he was currently sleeping with call him that when he had a daughter of his own that said the same thing. "It's alright.." He mumbled, hugging him close as the other shivered.
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Post by Aidan Kinney on Apr 9, 2008 11:11:33 GMT 1
Aidan sighed feeling the other man's warmth. He took a few deep and slow breaths to relax. Finally when he knew he was calm again he looked up and smiled faintly. "do you think I'll ever be normal?" He meant not cringing at the words like "daddy" and retreating if someone touched him in a way that cold bring memories
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Post by Christian Tait on Apr 9, 2008 11:20:29 GMT 1
Was that a rhetorical question or did Aidan really want him to answer that? He decided to do so anyways. "No..I don't think you will ever be normal.." He replied honestly. "But who is? Everybody is different..you couldn't classify anyone as truly being normal. It's ok to be afraid sometimes..it's your past. You can't escape it" Christian smiled, kissing his forehead.
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Post by Aidan Kinney on Apr 9, 2008 11:24:15 GMT 1
"I wish I were able to face it and stand up to it though" Aidan sighed smiling faintly. Christian was right, it was his past but it didn't mean he had to be so traumatized. "I don't want to be scared of my own shadow" He said with a hint of impatience in his voice. He needed to start acting like a man
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Post by Christian Tait on Apr 9, 2008 11:31:09 GMT 1
"Then stand up to it.." Christian replied with a sharp nod of the head. "The only reason you are scared of it is because you think you are. Stop thinking about it..tell yourself that you aren't afraid..that you are strong and that you can handle it.." He propped himself up on his elbows. "If I thought about everything that I did or has happened to me as much as you do, I'd probably be dead.."
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Post by Aidan Kinney on Apr 9, 2008 11:41:55 GMT 1
Aidan sighed and rolled onto his stomach hiding face in his hands. "But we're talking about my own family. My father who is an alcoholic and used to relieve his anger on me whenever I was around and my mother who acted as if nothing happened in fear that neighbors might realize we're not the perfect family" He shivered but then he looked up at Christian. "Will you help me?"
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Post by Christian Tait on Apr 9, 2008 11:51:35 GMT 1
Christian looked away as Aidan went into explaining how screwed up his life at home really was. He didn't like listening to it, mostly because he couldn't picture a family like that in his mind. And he didn't want to either. He sighed, kissing his boyfriends shoulder blades as he straddled him from behind, massaging his shoulders. "I'll help where I can.."
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Post by Aidan Kinney on Apr 9, 2008 12:03:25 GMT 1
Aidan relaxed and leaned into Christian sighing. "Thank you" He whispered. He felt safer in Christian's arms. And he needed to finally understand he wasn't at home anymore. he was out of there. It was about time he grew up.
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Post by Christian Tait on Apr 10, 2008 0:38:14 GMT 1
"There's no need to thank me. It's what I'm here for..to help each other and eventually lo--" He choked on the "L" word. He just couldn't say it, never had before. Only to special people like Reese and Addy and of course Brooklyn but that wasn't the type of love he was referring to. "Like each other more.." He corrected, laughing awkwardly.
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Post by Aidan Kinney on Apr 10, 2008 10:34:53 GMT 1
"Look after each other" Aidan added finishing the sentence Chris had started before and smiling softly running fingers through his boyfriend's hair. He understood what Chris almost said and it made him all warm inside. Like eeach other more. So Christia n was open for that. Aidan wasn't sure about himself. He wanted that but he was dead scared. His childhood made him believe no one could love him. But maybe this was different. He leaned to Chris and kissed his cheek
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Post by Christian Tait on Apr 10, 2008 10:42:01 GMT 1
Christian let out a sigh of relief. Aidan hadn't caught what he had almost said, or maybe he had but wasn't letting on for his benefit. He did a little roll back to Aidan's side, crossing his arms behind his head to appear that he was cool with everything and had not just almost embarrassed himself. "Yeah..that too.."
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Post by Aidan Kinney on Apr 10, 2008 10:49:08 GMT 1
"Yeah we both need that" Aidan continued stretching out on his back and staring at the ceiling. "It's not easy to live when you're all alone in the world." Technically Aidan wasn't alone but he still had no one to turn to. "I need a job" He murmured more to himself than Christian.
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Post by Christian Tait on Apr 10, 2008 10:55:08 GMT 1
"How are you alone?" Christian asked frowning. He was having trouble believing that Aidan could be that cut off from the outside world than he was letting on, or maybe Chris was just biased about it. He looked over at his boyfriend out of the corner of his eyes and then back up at the ceiling, sighing. "What kind of job do you want?"
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Post by Aidan Kinney on Apr 10, 2008 11:26:44 GMT 1
Aidan shrugged. "MY family is not a group of people I'd like to turn to when I feel lonely or need help. Or simply someone's company. And I don't really have good friends. There is one but...We just talk a few times. It's not someone I feel close enough to turn to in need." In other words Aidan had been alone until this day. "I don't know. Anything that would give me some money. Of course by anything I don't mean selling my body"
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